If We Could Relive Our Lives, Would We Choose the Same Path?

Amor Fati and Nietzsche’s Idea of Eternal Recurrence

There are moments when the past suddenly feels so close. Usually, this happens late at night when the atmosphere grows quiet and the mind has enough space to recall things we have been trying to forget.

Perhaps it concerns a job opportunity that was rejected, a college major chosen without careful consideration, or someone who slowly drifted away because of a conversation that was never finished.

In such situations, a question often arises: what if we had made different decisions in the past?

We imagine that changing one choice would result in a better life. However, have we ever considered that changing one decision might also mean losing many things we currently possess?

Questions like these lead us to the thoughts of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche regarding eternal recurrence or the eternal return, as well as the concept of amor fati, which means loving one's fate.

Both ideas invite humans to view life from an unusual perspective, especially when facing regret, suffering, and realities that cannot be changed.

What If Life Had to Be Repeated Forever?

In his book The Gay Science, specifically aphorism 341, Nietzsche proposes a thought experiment that is quite unsettling.

Imagine that while someone is in the deepest solitude, a demon suddenly appears and says that their entire life will be repeated, not just once, but over and over again without end.

Every joy, sorrow, failure, loss, and even the smallest event will happen again in the exact same order and circumstances.

There is no chance to correct mistakes. There is no alternative path. Even the most regretted decisions must be lived through again.

Nietzsche then questions how humans would respond to such a possibility. Would they curse their fate, or would they welcome the repetition of life as something extraordinary?

This idea is known as eternal recurrence.

To me, this thought is interesting not because we must believe that the universe actually repeats human life. Its value lies in the question that follows: are we accepting enough of our own lives that we would be willing to live them once more?

That question is not simple. Because to answer it, one must confront experiences that perhaps they have long wanted to erase from memory.

Amor Fati: Learning to Love Fate

Nietzsche offers another idea closely related to that question, namely amor fati, a Latin term meaning to love one's fate.

In Ecce Homo, Nietzsche describes amor fati as an attitude that does not want life to be different, whether in the past, the future, or throughout eternity.

This means that humans do not merely endure what happens. They are invited to accept the existence of their lives in their entirety, including the painful parts.

However, this idea raises its own problems.

How can someone be asked to love an experience that once destroyed their life? Does accepting fate mean agreeing with all the suffering one has experienced?

This question is important because amor fati is easily misinterpreted as an obligation to feel happy about every event.

In reality, accepting life does not have to mean considering every event as something good.

One can still acknowledge that certain experiences are painful, unfair, or should not have happened. At the same time, one can also realize that those experiences have become part of their life's journey.

In my reading, loving fate does not mean justifying every wound, but rather stopping the act of spending one's life fighting a past reality that can no longer be changed.

Albert Camus and the Man Who Keeps Pushing the Rock

Nietzsche's thought on the repetition of life has an interesting connection to the philosophy of Albert Camus, especially through the story of Sisyphus.

In The Myth of Sisyphus or The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus describes human life through the Greek mythological figure who was punished by the gods to endlessly push a large rock to the top of a hill.

Every time the rock almost reaches the top, it rolls back down. Sisyphus must repeat his work without end.

For Camus, this story illustrates the absurd state of humanity: the desire to find meaning in the face of a world that does not always provide answers.

However, Camus focuses on the moment Sisyphus walks back down to retrieve his rock.

It is at that moment that Sisyphus is fully aware of the situation he faces. He knows his work will not end, but that awareness prevents him from being completely defeated by his punishment.

Camus concludes his essay with the famous idea that we must imagine Sisyphus happy.

Happiness in this context does not mean that suffering has disappeared. Sisyphus still has to push the same rock. However, he lives through that reality with full awareness.

Nietzsche and Camus Do Not Provide the Same Answer

At a glance, Nietzsche and Camus seem to convey a similar message: humans must face their lives without relying on the hope that suffering will be erased by forces outside themselves.

Nevertheless, there are important differences in how they view life.

Nietzsche invites humans to say yes to their entire existence. He emphasizes the affirmation of life, including the willingness to accept the possibility that everything will repeat.

Meanwhile, Camus emphasizes awareness and rebellion against the absurd.

Humans, according to Camus, can continue to live even if they do not find a final answer regarding its meaning.

In my reading, Nietzsche seems to ask whether we are willing to live the same life forever. Conversely, Camus questions how humans can continue to live when reality does not provide the certainty they hope for.

The two are not entirely aligned, but that difference actually enriches the way we understand the human experience.

Why Do We Often Regret the Past?

Regret is an experience that is almost inseparable from human life.

We often imagine that life would be better if a certain decision had never been made.

For example, someone regrets choosing a college major that turned out not to match their interests. They imagine that choosing a different major would have made their career and life much more enjoyable.

However, there is something that is often missed in that imagination.

In that supposedly wrong major, perhaps they met their closest friends, gained valuable experience, or found opportunities they had never thought of before.

If that initial decision were erased, the various experiences that followed might also never have happened.

We often want to change one part of the past, but still keep all the good things that were born afterward.

Yet, life does not work like a script that can be edited at will.

The decisions we regret may have helped shape the way of thinking, relationships, and identity we have now.

This is where amor fati becomes relevant. The idea reminds us that life is a whole of interconnected experiences, not a collection of events that can be separated just like that.

Accepting Does Not Mean Justifying Suffering

Nevertheless, acceptance of life needs to be understood carefully.

Not all suffering should be considered to have a good purpose. Losing a loved one, experiencing violence, or injustice does not automatically become something to be grateful for.

Asking someone to love all their bad experiences can actually ignore the reality of the suffering they have experienced.

Therefore, I understand amor fati through a softer approach than Nietzsche's own demands.

What is accepted is not the assumption that all events should have happened, but the reality that those events have become part of a person's life history.

We are still allowed to feel sad, angry, or disappointed about what has happened.

However, there is a difference between acknowledging a wound and constantly hoping the past can be changed.

Acceptance gives someone the opportunity to acknowledge reality without having to justify it.

In this way, making peace with the past does not mean forgetting painful experiences, but learning to live without being constantly controlled by those experiences.

Making Peace with the Past, Not Giving Up on the Future

One of the risks in understanding amor fati is using it as an excuse to give up.

The expression that everything is destined is sometimes used to justify situations that could actually still be improved.

This is where Camus's thought offers an important perspective.

In the novel La Peste or The Plague, Camus presents the character Dr. Bernard Rieux, who continues to try to fight the plague even though he has no guarantee that his struggle will succeed.

Rieux does not wait for the certainty that all suffering will end. He continues to act because there are people who need help.

Through this character, we can see that accepting reality is not the same as stopping the effort to change the situation.

There are things in life that indeed cannot be fixed because they have become the past. However, there are also situations that are still possible to fight for.

We cannot repeat decisions made years ago, but we can determine how those decisions affect our actions today.

We may not be able to erase the experience of loss, but we can still build new relationships and find reasons to continue life.

Of course, the line between accepting and fighting for something is not always clear.

Prolonged illness, economic difficulties, or broken relationships can present situations that must be partially accepted, but partially still possible to change.

There is no single formula that applies to everyone.

Therefore, the ability to distinguish what is beyond control and what can still be worked on becomes an important part of the process of making peace with life.

If the Chance to Relive Life Truly Existed

In the end, Nietzsche's thought experiment may not have to be answered with an absolute willingness to repeat one's entire life.

That question can actually become a mirror to understand our relationship with the past.

Which parts of life are still difficult to accept? What decisions continue to cause regret? And is there something that could actually still be improved, but has only been regretted so far?

Not all of those questions have easy answers.

Some regrets may indicate the need for change. Others indicate that we have not fully accepted a reality that cannot be returned.

For me, the most valuable lesson from Nietzsche and Camus is not the obligation to always be happy or to love all suffering.

Both remind us that life must still be lived, even if it does not always match our expectations.

Perhaps we would not choose the exact same path if we were given the chance to relive our lives. However, the fact that the past cannot be repeated gives us one more real responsibility: determining how we live the days that are still available.

Because, perhaps the most important issue is not whether we are willing to live once more with the same story, but whether we have been brave enough to live the life that is currently unfolding.

Author Profile

Rahma Qonitatul Ulya is a student in the Psychology Study Program at the Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia (UPI). Through her writing, she raises reflections on life, human choices, regret, and self-acceptance by connecting psychological perspectives and philosophical thought.

References

Aronson, R. Albert Camus. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

Camus, A. (1991). The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays (J. O'Brien, Trans.). Vintage International. (Original work published 1942).

Camus, A. (2001). The Plague (R. Buss, Trans.). Penguin Classics. (Original work published 1947).

Nietzsche, F. (1974). The Gay Science (W. Kaufmann, Trans.). Vintage Books. (Especially aphorisms 276 and 341).

Nietzsche, F. (1967). Ecce Homo. In On the Genealogy of Morals and Ecce Homo (W. Kaufmann, Trans.). Vintage Books. (Section Why I Am So Clever, §10).